This is standard im having a quarterlife crisis so I'm gonna filter the shit out of my face and make a TikTok account syndrome. Fortunately for us, the Internet gives the gift of social media to bridge the eventual gap into Walmart parking lot porn.
For the 99.3% of the world that gives less than a shit about the TikTok hierarchy; That's Bella Poarch in the thumbnail. And the right side is the end result of some giga SIMP feverishly finishing his and/or her weekly dose of Ritalin in a single day.
Might as well call her a lumber jack because these logs are getting split. And she's not afraid of having her temperature checked at the same time? All future STD testing requirements aside, this looks like a girl worth keeping on the faves list.
Turns out the keto friendly bratwurst and vinegar diet has a downside after-all. Call me a psychic, but I'm guessing the sequel isn't on her to-do schedule...
7 (read: seven, as in the number of times I've been kicked out of Burger King for "unnecessary use of a urinal") acts of public lewdness not even I suggest copying, especially that last one. Let's just say: Raging Waters will never be the same again.
Today we go on a journey to a time forgotten. Shoutout to Julian for being a role model during my college years. That man's lust for turning fallopian tubes into tier-3 tuna casserole should have earned the Martha Stewart seal of approval.
bottoming out: "When the penis or other instrument used in a vagina, hits the back wall and can not go in any further." or better known as: "getting lil jon'd"
Willingly humiliated, nearly choked unconscious and takes more shots than Floyd Mayweather during a 12 round championship bout. No, it's not Connor's return to the octagon. But it's still going to cost you $59.99 if her 1st name has a hypen in it.
Found this gem in comments: "He has basketball shorts on with no underwear and I am so distracted by his big fat monster dick print that I am on the ground from a hard punch before I know it and he is taking my phone and running away"
And by lesson, I mean negotiating better pay than $1.00 Wendy's Frosty coupons when agreeing to a scene that damages more pussy than a Texas animal rescue.
I don't know who she is but the checklist has already been maxed out: Puts out on the first date. Isn't afraid to go full commando, and has absolutely no respect for the domestic leatherette option in the Suburban you borrowed from mom.
Can't say I'm used to getting these kinds of requests outside of a FarmersOnly match, so color me pleasantly surprised. At that and her nipple symmetry. Not being required to own a forklift prior to date #1 is also a plus I'm not overlooking.
9:00 for whatever the Tennessee cousin fuckery is going on in that thumbnail. Additional behavior that will have you scratching your pinto beans at 26:11.
Perhaps "education" was the wrong path here, as it suggests she would actually keep her tits covered for more than 18 consecutive seconds. And that never happens. Trust me; I've been behind a Wendy's parking lot on a Thursday night.
Leaking classified information? Murder? Shit, even International Dick Cricket Infestation would be on my list sooner than one Tinder gremlin subjecting herself to 31 separate 8-man gangbangs in the fucking barracks. Yet... here we are.
Not even two minutes of clitoral stimulation and this Becky's pork chop piss flaps start dancing around like a mother fuckin trash compactor. I'm talking vaginal contractions, YUGE ones. So big even her sphincter joins in on the macarena.
$10.00 and the final remnants of my Culver's cheese curds says she uses dipshit phrases like "bussin" and "no cap" and "i'll kill you if I find you hiding in the backseat of my Toyota Corolla again, mother fucker". Typical zoomer attitude.
Superb technique, but it's probably not for beginners. Chances are you'll misjudge one power thrust and catch one of the locals in the crossfire. It's called "The Ben Roethlisberger" and it will make you wish you kept the half boners at home.
Check out the rest of the series and then come back. We're going to meet a girl who has never blowjob'd before, plus a man who has a breakdown. While fucking a cake. So go get your little sister 'cause it's gonna be a really swag time. fr no cap
I can't prove this was filmed in the heart of America's septic tank. But if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck and whores itself out to 17 live Instagram viewers it probably originated from The Garden State. A little wisdom from Grampa Efukt.
Every so often you come across a video that's so revolutionary, so authentic, it makes u wonder what the purpose of life really is. This is not one of those videos.
Sounds like dude is trying to improve his APM in Starcraft 2, and Becky can't keep her mouth off the biscuit for more than 8 consecutive seconds? Double her rent and change the locks. It's the only way to get your zergling game back on point.
