From this angle it appears she's fucking an eggplant. But upon closer inspection you'll realize that's non-other than the shitter fritter himself: Woodman. aka The Machine. aka the man who lived through more STDs than all the 1970s combined.
At barely 5 feet tall you're really risking full blown perineum detachment. Seriously; One miscalculated thrust to the fallopian tubes and your days of unassisted urination are out of the fucking window. You've been warned, Mia.
Downside to living with a depraved girl from Frogballs Arkansas? Every time you get half a hard-on, it's time to perform. And then there's the other end of the spectrum: Girls with daddy issues, but not enough Plan-B to fulfill their destiny.
Seems this B-tier porn LARPer has acquired some sort of certification from the city? Back in my day this jobber would have laid down for the 3 count without a gimmick and put the legend over. And dammit, she would have liked it. (brother)
There's a very thin (blood)line between what's acceptable and what isn't in the world of amateur porn. Admittedly I'm not telling you I know exactly where that line exists... but I do know Ned Flanders just fucking diddly doodly crossed it.
This one is for the homies that asked me wtf happened to that girl who looks like Sarah Palin crossbreed her with a gerbil? As fate would have it, not even a pandemic slowed down her quest to hate cum on a budget. Yikes and gadzooks.
I mean, blemishing a clean criminal record with multiple counts of exposing your barking walrus to complete strangers in public. The short answer? Yes. [original]
Margery and her whacky genetics have some fucking explaining to do. Personally, I think she should find a way to increase size by at least 30%. I hear right around Quadruple-K cups is when those real disability checks should start pouring in.
I was gonna comment on her looking like Wish.com Bella Poarch. Then got sidelined by her cranking his cock like a Tug-o-War with King fuckin Kong. Lady, free tip: It's not the GenericWhoreMeUp line at Sephora. There are limits here.
This increasingly disturbing camgirl behavior keeps picking up more steam, but this time the female is a total right-swipe. Just ignore mommas resemblance to Antonio Banderas in The Mask of Zorro, and it will be BUENOS FAPPERINOS.
Don't blame him. This 'once in a lifetime event'occurs more often than my toilet flushes after a McDonald's breakfast. Fuse that with her mouth breather-husband filming this despicable ordeal, and your climax is officially cancelled muchachos.
Kinda like the Jigsaw franchise, this went from slightly intriguing to 'it's time to stop' pretty damn quick. Tipping point involves a cherry-popper story told in the most soothing voice I've heard since Bob Ross. 10/10, would bust nut again.
This lady has a condition known as "fucking gullible". It's what happens when dad stops loving you before your 1st year of college, so you seek the refuge of alpha males that tenderize you like a $2.00 shank of London Broil. Manager's special.
2 parts mystery, 18 parts boner food. The bafflement begins about halfway into scrolling downward, when you realize these cornholios are too polished to have experienced chimichanga nite after dancing with Jack Daniels and Jim Beam.
Not since walking into an unlocked Red Lobster bathroom at closing time have I seen such disrespect for drug addicts. And just like the rest of the Internet watching, I am disgusted and have an unreasonable craving for buttered biscuits.
I don't know man. Is this really what passes for must-have e-celebrity content that people are willing to pay for? Call me a traditionalist, but back in my day our sex tapes actually had sex in them. And piss jugs. Never forget the piss jugs.
Well damn, if the first 30 seconds of this video didn't confirm Smash Bros being a fighting game then I don't know what to tell you. The tech of a ballsac that's unblockable on wakeup basically confirms everything you don't want to admit.
Apparently these psycho soviets were keeping a legit sex slave, and documenting the entire thing via a Pornhub profile which was wiped clean. But it's the Internet so... nothing is gone forever. Except maybe her definition of "rim jobs" (you'll see)
You don't have to be a full Chad to experience this kind of public salami sloshing. Just find a girl that's sexually attracted to Amibos and the lifetime bans from all major airlines will flow in faster than you can complain about them on Twitter.
Today we learn three crucial things, so grab your colored pencils and pay attention: #1: Voyeurism is alive and well #2: Sexual misconduct is always negotiable. And #3: Lifetime bans from Macy's aren't a big deal. Lets get it.
This is standard middle-aged woman for "I saw a college girl do this on Instagram once so I can do it too" syndrome. Fortunately science has gifted us the video footage to accompany this lifelong stigma that can never be washed off. #facts
As fate would have it, not even a grim reaper of a pandemic can slow down a girls quest for Internet notoriety and Instagram followers. But as for the spectator in the last video? I think she just reinforced her sanitizing regime beyond Covid 19.
I can't imagine what else the BFF in question has been forced to spectate in the past. But I'm betting it involves the neighbor's cat and all 12 flavors of Rice-a-Roni.
