Some people invest into their 401-K plans to insure a healthy retirement. Others, work until the grave. And then there's this marble garglin sonuvabitch who is going to burn every cent in the name of B tier semi-pornstar vaginal exploration.
On today's edition of "I remember masturbating to her while unboxing my launch copy of Halo 2 with my free hand" its Alexis. No comeback has been made official
Kind of embarrassing, but this level of uncontrollable pressure reminds me of a romantic moment involving myself, a $20.00 bill and the McRib. Let's just say mom's Plymouth Vista got a new interior paint job that night. [PART I] [PART II]
wtf is with this ❝i'm not stopping until medicare qualifies her for a wheelchair❞ approach to slamming married women nowadays? Call me old fashioned, but I preferred when it was more romantic and hidden in Taco Bell bathroom stalls.
Ya gotta respect the duo at the end willing to show their face. Because even attempting to hide their identity would be crossing the line, whereas doing "the Nutty Richard" behind a Rite Aid dumpster is considered acceptable behavior?
Harmony Wonder takes her satchel of uncured meat on the kind of adventure Netflix is probably going to launch a 10 episode series about in the near future.
Billy saved all of his birthday nickles for his favorite street performer... only to be left at half mast and dryer than an asshole full of sand paper. The dream is dead.
The Sasha Grey tag under this video made me think we were about to uncover something never seen before. Instead I was greeted with the kind of silicone tit job you can only get from a New Jersey deli butcher, and her merely spectating.
In a sea of Instagram fueled BBL copycat creatures slowly merging into some sort of SIMP-fueled Voltron monster, emerges something out of Brazil that won't eject your brain for looking at it the wrong way. Now all hail Theodora Moutinho.
It may not be explicitly written, but there's only one translation for that body language. And it lives somewhere in between "I need to pay my taxes" and "$1 dollar pizza slices make me shit blood". Just three of life's little guarantees.
Getting blown out within shouting distance of your HOA'd neighbors is a pretty bold move. Honestly, it's one of superiority. Nancy and her 13 cats will most definitely think twice about filing a noise complaint at the next board meeting.
Some say it's a moment in history akin to the wild west, and boy did every liberal arts student under 200lbs take full advantage of it. You might get the smell of Drakkar Noir and Natty Ice out of those walls, but... the stories. Those are forever.
The true downside of marrying prostitutes from russiabride.com? Every wiener in a three-mile radius is using your 9-5 to unload some nut sac gazpacho on your significant other And don't even get me started on the ridiculous storage fees.
Everything about that statement is true, except the "oops" part. Something tells me 'ole carrot top here has sabotaged these sweatshop dick ponchos before...
Sometimes I think about the amount of guttural toxic waste this man has used his dipstick to measure without protective gear. There's no way he's still alive.
Pristine box proportions. Hooked up with Tiger Wood's Caddy, and is easily a 10/10 on the "dude i would literally crawl through barb wire just to hear her fart through a walkie talkie" scale. It's highly recommended you watch this one twice.
goblin mode; the behavior of someone who wants to feel comfortable doing whatever they want, not caring about trying to be clean, healthy, attractive or about impressing other people. [PART I]
The girl is Anabelle Pync. The plot tho... there's no accurate title for it. Imagine taking one of those suburban mass shooter interrogation videos & crossbreeding it with Ambien. Then masturbate with steel wool because that's the pain I feel.
Dude's firing all kinds of sour cream like he's emptying a Chipotle gift card. But the target? If the original title is true, then history suggests her post-nut waddle to the toilet will be turned into some sort of TikTok dance over the next 3-7 days.
